what 60 years mean to me....

Today we celebrated my nana and papa 60th wedding anniversary.  i wanted to say this today in front of everyone but i could not due to crazy emotions.  every time i think about this pair i cry.  such deep deep emotional and memories flood my mind.  

 they are not the type of grandparents that you spend the holidays with, we spent our every day life's with them.  when i was a kid, i remember sleeping on a cot at the foot of their bed, in my nana's nightgown.  a few years later i remember the pull out couch.  then i made progress to the room next to theirs.

 they are the ones that we take on family ski trips to babysit our kids.  they will sit out in the freezing cold just to watch emrie "barrel race."   they never miss birthdays or special events.

 when i used to ride the bus, i would ride it to their house.  when i was a teenager, my friends would meet me at their house.  i can't think of a time in my whole life that i have went a whole week without seeing them.

 He baptized me on his birthday on october 11th, 1992.   i wore this velvet dress, and the water was so cold.  then my sweet papa got to "bab-a-tize" our baby girl on april 21st, 2013.  see they not only are a HUGE part of their grandkids but the great-gradnkids get to have the same blessings.

 our papa and nana would take us every year to all our cow shows, no matter how far or how hot they took us.

 i look back over my life, and i can honestly say  that their love, consistency, and example has truly shaped me.  i hope that some day me and len can leave such a legacy.

Happy 60th my Nana and Papa. 

Hays family update

Well its that time again, we have some BIG news.  let me start back in early October-  we decided that we were ready to look into other adoption agencies.  i met a lady named janet, through a set of circumstances.  she was so encouraging and sweet, so i started the process with Eastern OK adoption agency.  i sit down to fill out yet another stack of papers, and i got totally frustrated.  its so hard to be examined, checked, and questioned on how you parent.  don't get me wrong i am glad they do, but i am just tired of proving our ability as parents.  i was so mad, i just pushed it to the side.  i was telling len how frustrated i was, he said just slow down and calm down.
i just was overly emotional, sad, and felt bad.  the next morning i went to the gym, i was praying to God to make my heart happy.  i prayed that He would just tell me what direction to go.  i left the gym, and went to walgreens.  i had been feeling "the glow" feeling so i picked up a preg test and went home.  all the way home i prayed that God would help my heart handle the disappointment that i have faced probably 100x's.  i took the test and it was POSITIVE !!!!  i could not wrap my head around it.  i told my family, checked my blood, took 6 more test, and it was all good news.  i wanted to wait to tell emrie, and facebook till after i heard that little BEAT.  so today we heard the first sign of our precious baby.  We are beyond excited and Emrie thinks being a big sis seems like a good idea.  
We are just amazed at the way OUR GOD works.  He had a plan all along, which makes perfect sense now.  i have really struggled and been real mad inside that we have not been chosen to adopt a baby in the last 8 months.  i just was so confident that we would be a great family.  God had a different plan.  He did not forget or leave us alone, He had this new little babe in mind all along.  We give Him 100% of the credit bc we really had lost all hope of making a original hays baby back in June of 12.  its just crazy how He works.  

this time last year, (12-12-12) we faced the worst of heartache, and once more God has granted us Peace, contentment, and pure Joy.  

i am so super sensitive to expectant mom's putting things on the internet, i know how hard it can be when you are the one struggling to have a baby.  i know its the most exciting for some and the hardest of pain for others.  so i will be keeping my infertile girls in mind, as i go through this pregnancy.  my heart struggled for the last month, i did not want to let my heart fully go.  i will tell you that i would walk this road all over again, if i can just hold a precious baby in my arms.  

to all our friends, family, church family, and even strangers that have fallowed our journey, we thank you.  We believe that God uses events and challenges in life to shape and form who we are.  God has changed and formed us through this all, He will continue to refine us to make us good parents for the new baby lobster #3.  

So remember this Picture, well these boots are filled for good this time.  

this is my song that has carried me through.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q13_J5Nrfpg