thought i better update so that people know i am alive. i cannot remember the last time i did NOTHING all week. i can't even remember the last time i stayed home for this long. i have not driven a car in a week, i have not been out to eat in a week, i did not go to any of the 60 things i committed to all week. i mean crazy for me. crazy yet good, i have had lots of time to get my thoughts all together. my house is clean, and my head is clear. what happened to us, was nothing short of a horrible thing, yet when i think of other parents who face such tragedy i can't help but be grateful. from the moment i became a mom i always idolized Mary. she was so strong, brave, and courageous. i just think of her feelings when she had to ride a donkey to go pay taxes. give birth in a barn, raise, love, and watch Him grow into a man. She was there watching Him take on the whole world's sin, she had to watch him get beat and endure death.
When i think about my Lobster, i know i gave it all i could. i was there, i know that it died in a comfy, warm, and loving spot. i know that it was safe from the world, safe from crazy people, safe from drugs and drinking. i know that it went from being loved and held by me, to being loved and held by Mary. i know she would gladly rock my baby for me till i get there. what more peace do i need.
i have always heard that God grants you the peace you need to get through the things that you face. i can find that to be true, i admire moms who wait for hearts, or fight cancer for their kids. i admire moms like Mary, who love their babies from a barn to the cross.
This is the mom i want to be, to my Emrie, for Lobster, and Our future babies. i want to just love them the way that Mary loved Her babies.
thank u all for loving and caring for us. i read and re-read all your sweet words over and over.
We are headed north West for some family skiing. i am excited to get away from home for a spell, i will be back to our life after Christmas.
lots of love- Cass
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