i started reading the book "interrupted" by Jen hatmaker. let me just say that i kinda feel like this gal has her head screwed on straight. so far i think she has made perfect sense. i feel heavy and convicted today. i feel like some days i just dwell in the "Sad Day" stage. i have been dwelling and feeling some "poor me" things. i never want to come across as un-greatfil, or un-fullfilled. bc i am so blessed, i am so glad that Jesus paid my price. i mean really look around, there are plenty of roses to smell. He continues to show me how i need to be refining my heart. i just feel like my hands are tied, my back is against the wall, my life is at a stand still. its like i cannot move forward without a baby. my mind is consumed, my heart is broken, and my body is TIRED. i really in my own little head, think i deserve to be a momma again. i ache to feel a baby inside of me. and yet here i sit blogging about sad days. i am not going to lie, i feel a little betrayed or forgotten. i keep telling my head, that God is saving the best for me. He has a perfect timeline. he is saving my heart from devastation. he is protecting me. i get that, in my head. my heart on the other hand is SAD. i want to have the answers, i want to understand His plan. i want to just trust Him, Have Faith, and move on. so thats where and what i am. i am stuck between what i know in my head and feel in my heart.
God- make my heart match what i know in this crazy head of mine.
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