up to date

i have a lot of people ask for a update, so here it is.  I went to the doctor last friday and found out i am at a 6.4, i need to be at a 8.0.  so i go back next thursday to check again.  from there we do a week of shots, and transfer day is set again for October 2nd.  We are putting all 4 embryos in, and trusting God that He will give us however many baby or babies He wants us to have.  We find out if we are pregnant or not on the 11th.  We are just ready for this to be all over.  On October 12th I will no longer obsess, think, or dwell in the world of infertility.  we will be free and complete.  i am real excited for this day to get here.  its kinda ironic how God's time line works.  My very fist appointment with Dr. Kallenburger was One year ago on Oct. 11th.  it has been the very longest year of my life, but i can say that i gave it my all, i no longer have a fear of needles, and that i am a more patient person.  We are excited to know what our next step is, and even more excited to be DONE with this journey.  Thank you all for your kind words, and encouragement.  i read them a whole lot.  

Surviving a Funk.

So in the latest news front.  i have been on "crazy lady pills" for the whole month of Sept. and that has been real fun.  i fell drained, real sleepy, MOODY, emotional, and real frustrated, so that has been fun.  I was scheduled to be done with crazy pills and start crazy Shots this thursday the 20th, instead my body decided to  start all  over again. and so that puts me back to day 1 of "crazy Pill lady."  I have been really non-stop busy and on the go.  so today i had a minute to really think this situation over.  the results are bad, i actually hate my current situation.  it feels like this will never end.  some say, "oh its just two more weeks, don't give up now"  i would say " pop some hormones, let me know how you feel after 2 extra weeks."   i just feel alone and sad.  literally babies are appearing all around me.  this was the month i was supposed to be bring my baby home.  and instead i am just waiting AGAIN.  some close friends and family are having there 2nd baby, all while i am still waiting, it seems un-fair. 
however today, i had a nice pity party, walked into Old-Navy, and saw a fellow shopper.  She was in a wheelchair, could not use her arms, yet she over came all the struggles it took for her to get into that store.  i think God has the weirdest and purposeful timing of things.  i did not talk to her, bc i would of lost control, but that lady touched me today.  There must of been times in her journey that she wanted to give up, yet she made it to old-navy today.  
i think the lesson for me today is, He knows my hearts desire, He just wants to do it when i find what it takes to forget the funk.