Bad News Bears

Update :We had our Christmas party with the beauty shop this last saturday, after dinner i went to the bathroom and realized i had started spotting, so we went to the ER, they checked everything and could not find a heartbeat on the ultrasound, but found a heartbeat with the doppler.  so we had hoped that everything was ok.  so i called my doctor early monday morning and went straight to OKC.  my mom went with me, and i am glad she did.  Dr.K could not find a heartbeat, i asked if he was 1000% sure, and he was.  We all cried in the room.  His nurse nancy and him included.  they showed me great compassion.  i go in wednesday for a DNC.  i am ready to have that part all done. while i never expected such devistaion, and although i am not sure where to go from here.  i do know that God is in control.  i know that He never leaves us or forsakes us.  i know that we are in this place of grief and sorrow for a reason.  i know that this "Lobster Baby" served a purpose.  It will forever be in my heart and it changed me forever.  i loved and held this precious baby for way to short of a time.  i wish SO badly that we could of had a chance to watch it grow, but this is just another chapter in our story.  i am so thankful for the love that people pour out towards me, however i need to hide this week.  i am in no shape to be my normal self.  We leave this saturday for our ski trip, and i am excited to be away from reality.  my family is here, and i will be back to life after Christmas.  please just pray for us, pray for len to be strong, me to heal from heart-ache, and my sweet em to understand it the best she knows how.