Hays Today

A crazy mother bear, that loves her little family.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Hormones, marriage, prayers.

update time.....
So i went to the doctor last Thursday and i was on target to start the process.  they started my shots that day + 5 days of grey pills, and 5 days of blue pills.  let me just tell you that this lethal combination of shots, and pills left for a HOT MESS.  i was out of my mind crazy, i felt like i had a mental breakdown, was out of control, and HATED the way they made me feel.  i have never understood suicide, but i can now say that i see how someone can feel so OUT OF CONTROL.  it was a intense 5 days.  by day 4, it was a problem, then day 5 came and oh mercy.  by 9:00 monday evening, i could not maintain a good thought.  so my advice to anyone who has to go through this, stay home, have NO contact with people. and avoid any commitments.  i however did the opposite which resulted in me unleashing on my partner.  sensitivity is not his strong point, so that was not pretty.  we made it through, but it was touch and go.  he does in fact love me, however he is not the best at showing that.  i was in over-drive and it was rough.  but at the end of the day or week He is mine and he gets the crazy cass.  marriage is not always a picked fence with 1.5 kids in the yard playing ball.  its more like 2 different people trying to merge on the hwy. someone has to let a car in.  the end result is there is NO one else in the world i would rather merge with.     
Tuesday finally got here,and we went and had the Embryos, (3 to be exact) put inside me.  i was then on strict back bed rest for 24 hours, then normal bed rest for another 24 hours, then just been taking it easy.  i feel  fine, healthy, and semi-hormaly balanced.  i am still doing a shot a day, and 3 white pills.  but all in all i feel good.  i am SO ready for THURSDAY to get here.  i will go do blood work and then get the results.  i don't know if i am more excited to know, or more excited to be done.  its a toss up for me.  either way i am excited for something.  We have already stated the regular adoption process,  and we go to our adoption seminar friday and saturday.  we also got our back ground checks in the mail today. (they were good fyi)  so we are 100% committed to that if we get a negative result thursday.  
We know that GOD has picked a baby for us, and we just can't wait for him to show us the plan. 
         Thank you friends, family, my mom who has given me every shot, my sister and tucker for being here for bed rest, my church family for feeding us, and my hubs for not jumping this crazy ship.   We are overwhelmed with prayer from all sorts of people.  i cannot count how many people have touched my heart through this process.  

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