Ladies retreat 13

i have been trying to wrap my mind around this past weekend at the ladies retreat.  i have been the last 3 years, and this was the best year by far, for me.  the theme was " a love that never lets go," it was like it was tailored for me.  i love the way God plans all that out.  its no secret that i struggle with "waiting on the plan to unfold" i just think back over the last few years of my life and see time and time again how He is in charge of "the plan."  it was no mistake that i was at the retreat this weekend.  i was driving in my car after i took em to school, thinking i really don't want to leave her.  i fight God sometimes with what i want to do.  i know that as a mom and a woman that we really feel like the world will stop spinning if we are not taking care of the 100 things that day.  i should really trust my hubs more, bc he can in fact keep our life's going.
so i head south to falls creek friday and spend a weekend with Godly ladies that can refresh you.  God spoke to each of us in a different way, yet we all could relate.  i have been struggling with "pity parties" and dwelling in the poor me spot.  this weekend gave me a ray of sunshine.  once more God had that in the plan.  Friday night service was so good.  the speaker's testimony was she has 3 kids but lost her 4th baby just two hours after birth.  it has been 5 years and her emotion and feelings were so raw and evident.  healing from what i consider the very worst thing that could ever happen to anyone.  God chose His Son, so i think that gives us a good perspective on what a huge hole that would leave in anyones heart.  anyways she asked the audience to honor her baby and all the children that we lost.  she asked everyone in the room to stand if they had lost a child.  so precious and moving to see over half of the audience stand to their feet.  as i stood totally in awe of the ladies standing among me, i heard the anguish crying out from a woman across the tabernacle.  i have no idea about her story, but i felt her pain.  it was a healing moment for all the moms in that room to share a bond that is unimaginable.  for me personally it reminded me how special "my lobster" was to me.  how deep my love runs for my baby in heaven.  i don't really know the answers of how to heal, or how to fill the void you feel.  however i know that God is faithfully holding you.  i know He never drops you from his hand.  i know He is wrapping his big hands around those momma's broken hearts.  i also know that i would never want to face such heartache without the peace of Jesus.  i can't imagine walking down any heartache without Him.  
in Eph. 1:18- " I pray that you will begin to understand the incredible greatness of His power for us who believe in Him.  this is the same power that raised Him from the dead and seated Him in the place of honor at God's right hand.
He is so strong and endured so much for me and you.  He knows and he is powerful.  He owns your life and heart.  He won't forget about YOU  !!!!!