2014

i could of never have dreamed up a better year. 2014 was the very best year !  in Dec. of 2012 i remember feeling defeated and DONE.  little did i know what God had in store for my family.  

Each month brought us new adventure and excitement.  In Jan 2014 We found out that lobster #3 was a fella.  

 In February me and Len celebrated 10 years of marriage.  if you know our marriage story this is quite an accomplishment.  

 in march, april, and may i continued to exercise and feel great all while growing our little baby.  

 In June Em was full swing in parades and playdays.  riding horses is defiantly her thing.  she started riding Spoon and advanced leaps and bounds.   

 In JULY we finally welcomed our 4th member to our family !!!  Houston was born and he was the missing piece to our family.  Our little guy is healthy and strong.  God in His perfect timing and plan made him just perfect in every way.  We will always be so thankful for His grace and Gifts.  

 in August Emrie turned 7 !  we celebrated with a slumber party, trail ride, and luch.   She started 1st grade at Purcell and she is so smart and we are pretty proud of her.  She is confident, strong, a leader, and brave.  
The fall kinda flew by and now we are in winter.  all in all 2014 was one of our greatest years.  We are so thankful that God blesses us and that we get to see what 2015 has in store for us.  

Lobster #2

12-12-12 was a life changing day in our house.  We lost our bay lobster #2, i can remember almost every detail of that day.  i remember being at the hospital for my DNC, i remember them poking me 400xs trying to find a vein, i remember saying "knock me out" over and over again.  i remember feeling empty, drained, and asking WHY.   i still from time to time ask why, but i am quickly reminded of God grace and plan.  i watch a little boy on FB who was born in June of 2013, i love seeing him grow.  for some reason even though i never knew Lobster #2, that baby boy reminds me of him/her.  its crazy to even try and picture what He/SHe would look like bc apparently me and len make identical looking kids, and Lobster #2 was a embryo that we adopted, so its hard to even put a image to something i loved so much.  
its funny to me how God knows..... He knows us all.  He knows and has a vision of each of us even before we are formed.  i find great comfort knowing that He knows.  He makes beauty from ashes, He designs beautiful life's.  
each and every time i look into my Houston's face i see just how much He loves me.  How He never forgot me, how He knew just what we needed.  How He makes BEAUTY from broken pieces.  this Dec. 12th i am a little sad but i am SO GRATEFUL to be part of His well thought out plan.  
Lobster #2 - your part of our story and i am so glad i got to hold you for those 11 weeks and 5 days.  you will always be my favorite lobster.  

Houston 4 months

My dear sweet, lovable, happy Houston boy-
   you my sweet boy are the greatest baby in al the land.  your easy going attitude makes our life so much better.  you are a trooper and take on whatever we throw at you with grace and ease.

 you love being naked.  your favorite time of day is laying naked and kicking before your bath.   you get to lay there and kick for about 30 minuets every night.  its great exercise for your little strong legs.

 you love lots of people in your life but momma still holds the number ONE rank for now.  you and me have spent lots of time together and we have created a bond that i used to think was impossible.  you have melted my heart and my love for you is as big as the sky.

 in October you took your first air plain ride.  i was a nervous wreck but you handled it just fine.  we went to see aunt chels in Denver.

 you love to watch your big cousins.  they are real entertaining and loud so they keep your attention for a long time.  tucker is a huge houston fan.  he always tells me that he wants a baby like you.  Casen and Ben like for you to be around but need you to grow a little so you can keep up.

 you got your first haircut in late october.  you loved the whole experience.

 We spend a lot of time in the car, we have watched many hours of horse riding from our front seat.  you seem to not mind it one bit.  you are your sissy's biggest fan.  she loves for us to watch her and cheer her on.  she is getting really good at winning all her play days.

HTH- We love you so much and are so happy that your part of our family.  God knew exactly what He was doing when he made you into the healthy, smart, and sweet boy you are.  we pray that He continues to bless your life and that you grow to honor Him with yours.  We love you SO SO SO much little buddy.

Fat to skinny

There have been many things in my life that i have "achieved" with hard work.   i look back at things like building a house,  remodeling the Beauty shop,  pregnancy, motherhood,  marriage…. things such as these.   i can't think of anything that really compares to weight loss.   it's such a personal and ONE man role.  there is no other person that you can blame or depend on, its just you.  every bite taken or mile ran, is on you and you alone.   thats why i think the success or failure can mean so much.  its defined by what you choose or your dedication.  
When i got healthy in Jan 2013 it was a hard challenge, i mean hard.  i loved bad food in a serious way, but after that first month i felt alive again.  by month 5 i was ready to take on the world.   by month 9, i had found my groove and felt my very best.  then in month 10 i found out about my Houston boy, so i slowed down and ate some pasta.  with him and the pasta i gained 55 pounds, i will add that it was the best weight i ever gained.  i loved being able to carry and give him life.  having him i lost 35pds, but the other 20 wanted to hang on.  i started working out and eating good 5 weeks after i had Houston.  so in 11 weeks i lost the other 20 and have gotten back to my pre-baby weight.  
it has not been super easy but this time it was not hard to go back to eating good and the gym.  it was hard to leave my baby and give myself that 30-45 minutes a day.  i am thankful for my nana who waits for him to come play every morning.  she loves to see her "sunshine boy" every morning and it made it easier for me to leave him.  
i had made lots of excuses in my head before i had him,  but i am living proof that if you really put your mind to it, you can do it.  i want to be an encouragement to you, if you really want to change your life, don't let anything stop you.  at the same time i will tell ya that its up to you alone.  No one can do it for you, and you will be the only person that will push as far as you will need to go.  
my next plan is to run in some part of the memorial marathon in the spring.  

People have told me that i would not be able to take as many pictures of the 2nd child as i did the 1st.   well i am here to prove the theory wrong.  middle children have to be documented too.   Houston tate's 0-3 months video.  We love you Buddy.  

Motherhood Vs fatherhood

Lets just start with the good.  Mom's verses Dad's 
Mom's get.....
to carry, birth, and nurse the baby. 
dad's get to have the sex.
mom's get to stay home and dads provide for the family. 
mom's get to pee on their leg in the shower, to save time.  dad's get to read a magazine. 
mom's stop all fun activities bc the baby needs you, dad's miss a few extra activities. 
mom's never do anything alone (EVER) and dads have lots of time to gather their thoughts. 

There is not one thing i would change about this list, well maybe the peeing part.  but the thing is... God designs us for our rolls.  He makes momma's and daddy's just for the purpose they are supposed to fulfill.  now don't get me wrong it dose not always seem fair or easy, but its the way He planned it.  

i am just glad our kids have a dad that works hard, and loves us so much ! 

Houston's birth

There are times in life that you just will never forget each detail of that day.  like your wedding day, your favorite holiday, but for me its the day both our kids were born.  i have never felt more loved from others, then those days.  everyone is caring and kind and you finally get to see your baby that you have been waiting on for so long.  

 Houston came out screaming, he was real upset till they put him on my chest.  he calmed right down, in that moment i thought to myself that he will no longer be comforted by heartbeat.  it was kinda sad to think about, but then i held him for the first time and realized he can find comfort in me.  there is no other feeling in the world that compares to loving your baby.  but its a really good feeling when your baby loves you just the same.  i hope when he is 25 he remembers my heartbeat and knows that i was his first source of comfort.  

 This is the special moment that i dreamed about for the last 4 years.  i wanted so babdley to give emrie a sibling.  i pray that they grow up to love and cherish each other, the way i cherish my sisters.  
she was not sure what it was going to be like until she saw him.  after that we could not keep her away. she loves to kiss and hold him.  i think its safe to say that this is the moment she fell in love.  

 When i picture the perfect dad, i see my len,  he is so very strong for us.  he was pretty proud of his boy.  he told me in the operating room.... "you have held him for the last 9 months, its my turn."  
he loves his baby girl and his baby boy will hopefully grow up following his daddy's footsteps.  so far he inherited his nose, sleeping habits, and looks.  Houston has big shoes to fill, but with the best daddy in the whole wide world He will do just fine.  

 my whole world.  i just can't imagine it any other way.  God in His perfect wisdom and timing (i can't believe i am saying that) had this life and family planned for us.  there is such comfort knowing that God Himself cares and loves every single one of us.  

 We made our way home with HTH in tow.  Em was super excited to get him home.  

 Eph. 3:16-19
17b- May your Roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. 

Pregnancy Perks

I feel like its a great and might privilege to get to carry a baby.  for so long i wanted nothing else in life, so i truly appreciated and am thankful for the experience.  i had two wonderful pregnancies and i made two healthy babies, for that i am overwhelmingly grateful.  i look at my little family and just cry bc i can't imagine it any other way.  i feel like God Himself gave me all i ever wanted.  i just can't imagine knowing and loving each one of HIS kids the way He dose.  i am so thankful that God made Len for me and that He gave us Emrie and Houston ! 

these are in the very most random order

Popper and Me 

37 weeks

 26 weeks

 34 weeks

 39 weeks
at Dr. Jarvis's office.  these ladies gave me such sweet care.  i am pretty low maintenance but they always made me feel like i was their only patient.  that my baby was so special and they were always on time.  Dr.Jarvis did a wonderful C section, i bounced back so fast.  i would recommend them again and again.

 39 weeks

 32 weeks

 30 weeks

 the day i found out about my Houston Boy

 his first Picture.

 14 weeks

 22 weeks

 25 weeks

i am not sure why God loves me enough to give me His son, but to add to that love, He gave me my family.  i am so thankful He loves and knows me.

my prayer for my kids....
Eph 3:17-19

and i pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in Him.  may your ROOTS go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. and may you have the power to understand as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love really is.  may you experience the love of Christ though it is so great you will never fully understand it.  then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Waiting on Houston

Well i am officially ready for this baby to come out!  i have loved having him safe and sound inside but the time has come.  He is still very active,  the doctor told me that he would not be moving as much but our boy is already defining the odds, he moves most of the time.   He is so smart already !

 these pics were at 34 weeks.  he weighed 4.5 pounds 

 33 weeks prego here.   i really am blessed bc i feel good for the most part.  I will admit that it's not always comfortable but i feel honored to be able to carry him.  also i am blessed to be a healthy momma, my blood pressure, heart rate, and weight have all been ideal.  
once more i am not good at getting pregnant, but i am real good at being pregnant.  i think this thought stayed with me through-out the whole fertility battle.  

 36 weeks and counting ...... 

 this was my 30th birthday present.  he is 37 weeks here, and weighing 6 pounds.  he is pretty smooshed and chubby but it makes him all the better.  He is healthy and strong, and we are so proud of him.  

We are officially on the countdown.  15 more days and this boy is making his exit, wether he wants to or not.  we are scheduled for the 8th, but i think it would be lots more exciting if he comes before that.  so far i have been having random contractions but nothing real consistent.  so we shall see what Houston has planned.  

Houston -  i simply cannot wait to FINALLY meet you face to face.  you already hold my heart in your hands and i love holding your heart in my belly.  i have loved helping you grow and flourish into the little guy you are.  Me, daddy, and Em are so excited for you to get here.  your room is all done and the bags are packed, so just whenever you feel like coming we are ready with open arms.   we love you baby boy, i am thinking our love will just keep growing just like you are.  

Being a Momma !

Just writing about being a mom is a emotional thing for me.  its a honor that i take real serious.  becoming a mom was not as easy for me, so i really try and not take for granted the gifts God has given me.  

i remember knowing from a very young age, that being a mom looked so cool.  i remember young couples at church bringing in new babies and i wanted to be them.   i also though young couples holding hands was very sweet and cute.  

 i was blessed enough to come from a long line of momma's that know how to love.  my granny harris died when i was real little, i don't have a memory of her however to this day, my nana crys every time she talks about her.  she loved her SO much and her love reflects through my nana.
Nana is the most selfless person in all the land.  she gives 100% of herself to her family.  she is most happy when she is taking care of someone she loves.
she is the picture of what the word "momma" means.  we are so blessed that her health allows her to love her kids, grand-kids, and great-grand-kids.
Nana your so special to me and i am so excited to let you love Houston, the way you love us.  i hope you always know how much we appreciate and love you.

 Then there is my momma, my biggest fan, best support, constant companion, and the person i am most like.   i watched her my whole life and the older i get the more i mimmic her.  We think, act, and have so many of the same traits.  she is the one i call in the middle of the night, the one i want sympathy from, the one that showed me how to be a mom.
We have endless amounts of memories together, we work like a well oiled machine most of the time.
mom- thank u for loving me when i was a hard pill to swallow, thank u for helping me when No one else would, thank u for molding me, setting a firm foundation for me.  your love and dedication to us girls has never wavered.  we are so blessed to have you as OUR mom.  your a constant support, and we are the girls we are bc of you.
Emrie and Houston are so lucky to have you as their granna.  i am excited to let you love our baby boy, FINALLY.   its been a long journey but you have been there for every shot, appointment, and procedure.  then every morning in the gym, and the whole pregnancy and now almost to the finish line.  i couldn't of made it without you.  nor can i make this next step into being a mom of two without ya.  i love you and want you to know that every day is mother's day to me bc i have you.

 My mother in law made the man i love into a perfect man.   she loves him with a endless amount of love.  she has been his constant through out life.  i don't think DIL and MIL relationships area always  the easiest but i have lots of respect for betty bc she did not have the best of circumstances but she never stopped being a good mom to Len.  i know she adores him, and i know that i will adore Houston the same way.  i pray that the girl Houston chooses will still share him with me.

Happy mother's Day to the three ladies that helped us become a family of 4 !!!!!